Archive for the 'Blog' Category


Lisamm – Books on the Brain…An Expression of Gratitude

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for recommending the book Body Clutter. Love Your Body, Love YourselfI am only on page three and the self analysis has truly begun. I am trying to find out why I have this bottomless pit of hunger and never feel quite full. One thing I have learned is that I feel guilty for not better protecting the little girl I used to be. Again, I am only on page three so this is going to one hell of a road to real and authentic self discovery. Lisamm — Books on the Brain you rock. I will be eternally grateful to you.

Be well, CF


ChaoticFat:Weight-346.2 (+9.2)

I am so embarrassed to have to post that I gained 9.2 lbs…but, it is what it is. That damn Tanita is too accurate and I can’t hide from or lie to the friends who read this blog or to myself who reads the scale in all it’s accurate glory. I am disappointed but not discouraged that I now weigh a tiny bit over my starting weight. Knocking myself in the head…WHAT DID I JUST SAY?…YES, I WEIGH JUST OVER MY STARTING WEIGHT! This sh*t is so f*!king hard, please excuse my language, but I am so damn mad right now. 

I do have one thing to say… iPod — SchmiPod. Okay, so I can’t blame the iPod, but I sure as hell want to blame something other than myself. I really have fallen in love with Chaotic my little piece of electronic wonderment.

 I think right now I am soooo anticipating the new year that I am over eating a lot. I’ve done the 10lb. holiday weight gain before the dang-blasted holidays. My ass is so backwards sometime. I keep feeling like I have to resign myself to being obese for the rest of my life and then the next day I resign myself to stop the “stinkin thinkin.” I feel like I am aimlessly wondering through a verbal juggernaut with myself all the time. I can’t get my “being” to coordinate with my wants and desires.

This is so damn hard….

Be well, CF


iPods, iPods Everywhere!!

I finally earned my new iPod.

My exercising is consistent, my numbers are up and I really can’t complain to myself about myself anymore. I met the challenge goal and I really deserve the prize.

Yea! Me.

She’s a powerful little piece of electronica and of course her name is Chaotic.



This Definitely Shifted My Paradigm

I just have to share another post from the “Fatosphere” entitled: I Hate WLS—Here’s Why I’m Having It.

Please take the time to click the link and read Heidi’s post. It will make you cry, laugh and feel a great deal of compassion for this brave woman. If you are struggling, like me, it will open your eyes to your future.


 I believe weight loss surgery (WLS) is dangerous, invasive, and overly performed. I hate that something created as a last resort has turned into magical cure-all for everyone over 200 pounds. I hate that it’s become so popular and hyped that people whose information is based solely on what they see on TV have no hesitation in suggesting it to complete strangers. But what if you don’t qualify? Gain weight! Go to Mexico! Find a less strict surgeon!

WLS is the quick and easy answer! Because altering your eating and drinking habits for the rest of your life couldn’t possibly be something worth a second thought. I always have been and always will be highly, highly critical of weight loss surgery.

And I’m having mine next month.

Here is the link to the complete post:

Below is the comment I made to the post:


Congratulations on having the courage to make the best decision for you. I am on my own weight loss walk and needed a paradigm shift; a way to see my fat and my struggle with becoming healthy as more than a chore or just something to do in order for me to be happy. You know the old saying, “I’ll be happy when…”  Well I have been letting that guide me, until today.

It has been a privilege to read your post and I thank you for saving my life. Although I will not have WLS, I will take your words and the steps necessary to do what I know I must do to lose the fat that’s killing me and get healthy.

Be well, CF


Damned Unpretty

I wanted to share a post from the “Notes from the Fatosphere” listed on the right side of this blog. It’s pretty awesome and reminds me of the lyrics to the TLC song Unpretty.

Here is an excerpt:

 You Don’t Have to Be Pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”.

Below is a link to the full post on the blog “A Dress A Day”:

Pretty, beauty, happy and a healthy self-esteem should come from no one but you. We need to be the arbiters of our own inner and outer destiny on our walk through this life. Let no one tell you who or what you are, decide that for yourself and make it happen.

Enjoy, CF


ChaoticFat: Weight-337 (-7.4)

I know I am late in posting this, but I was on vacation and then I became ill. 

But here it is finally. 7.4 lbs seems to be the most I can lose at one time.

Oh well, I’ll take what I can get.



We are a fat nation

Hello everyone, I’m back from my holiday and I had a great time. As you can probably tell from my previous post, I took a cruise to the caribbean. How lovely was that! Now for the good/not so good part.

We really are a nation of fatties. If a cruise of between 2,000–2,500 people can be considered a microcosm of the United States then more than half of us are very very fat. There were all different levels of fat people:

You had your obese—I have to ride in a scooter fattie;

your obese—I can barely walk the halls of this ship but I am going to anyway because this is my vacation and I will enjoy it come hell or high water fattie;

your fat —I am fat, but still feel cute in this spandex thingy I am wearing and my feet are killing me in these damn shoes but I will die first before I take them off fattie;

your fat—I don’t know how I let myself go, but I am going on a diet as soon as this vacation is over fattie;

and your fat—I’m a plumpy and love my curves so get over yourself and deal fattie.

There were so many different kinds of fat, it was very eye opening. I felt a certain kind of sadness and a kinship with those people. Everyone was so pleasant and believe it or not happy. I think when you are on holiday, you leave all of your worries behind and just enjoy. It also made me realize that being fat is not necessarily a death sentence. We can all strive to lose weight and be healthy, but we can also be fat and happy instead of fat and miserable. Almost everyone I met seemed to be comfortable in their skin whether they were obese or just slightly overweight. Or maybe they were just putting up a vacation front, it’s hard to tell. All I know is my fat nation and I had a fabulous cruise to the caribbean and I can’t wait to go again next year.

Now let’s talk about the food; as you may well know, there was an over abundance of it everywhere you turned. On day one and day two I ate so much food I had to go to my stateroom and lay my stomach down, she needed the rest and could barely move anyway. On day three, I came to my senses and ate like I still had a functioning brain that was not on holiday.

So yeah, the statistics are true, we are a very fat nation; but I love my country and am proud to be an American or should I say FAT American trying her best to get and live a healthy life whether fat or thin.

Oh and btw, I did manage to find the sport deck and do a little exercising/walking around the track. I didn’t fall completely into Never Never Land.