Archive for the 'Other Stuff' Category


Stress, Stress and More Stress

I am not one who worries or gets stressed out about things easily and thankfully that still holds true. That being said, I have been under a great deal of stress lately, worrying about a family member’s health. For almost a month, this member was misdiagnosed and we finally learned that she had diverticulitis. It is a digestive disease which forms pouches outside the colon. She has gone through a round of antibiotics and soon will have a colonscopy; the next step is changing her diet so that she eats more fibrous foods which is proving to be difficult. She can no longer eat dairy and needs to cut down drastically on sugar; getting her to comply and to basically eat more like me is like pulling teeth. I try little things like buying soy ice cream, and soy milk, etc. We already have a lot of beans and veggies and whole wheat and whole grains in the house, now I just have to get her to eat them. She is a small woman and since getting sick has lost some weight which is freaking her out, which is in turn freaking me out. For a time she wasn’t eating anything at all; she has always been a junk food, crappy food, fast food eating individual whose weight hovers around 120 -125, her weight went down to 114, but is now around 116. Like I said she is a small woman, so that 5-6lb loss is very noticeable. A side note, I have found that she is excessively vain which is cute and funny. We went to the hospital for a check up and she got a couple of cat calls and that made her feel good, which made me feel good.

I know this has nothing to do with my weight struggles, but I just needed to talk about it. Thanks for letting me de-stress and decompress.

As always, be well



“Kindness in words creates confidence, kindness in thinking creates profoundness, kindness in feeling creates love.” — Lao Tzu


Lisamm – Books on the Brain…An Expression of Gratitude

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for recommending the book Body Clutter. Love Your Body, Love YourselfI am only on page three and the self analysis has truly begun. I am trying to find out why I have this bottomless pit of hunger and never feel quite full. One thing I have learned is that I feel guilty for not better protecting the little girl I used to be. Again, I am only on page three so this is going to one hell of a road to real and authentic self discovery. Lisamm — Books on the Brain you rock. I will be eternally grateful to you.

Be well, CF


Damned Unpretty

I wanted to share a post from the “Notes from the Fatosphere” listed on the right side of this blog. It’s pretty awesome and reminds me of the lyrics to the TLC song Unpretty.

Here is an excerpt:

 You Don’t Have to Be Pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”.

Below is a link to the full post on the blog “A Dress A Day”:

Pretty, beauty, happy and a healthy self-esteem should come from no one but you. We need to be the arbiters of our own inner and outer destiny on our walk through this life. Let no one tell you who or what you are, decide that for yourself and make it happen.

Enjoy, CF


I’m on holiday…

Where ever I am, I am having a great time on this much needed holiday.

Post ya later!!!




Give me your opinion

I have created a couple of logos/banners for Chaotic Fat. Sometime next year I am going to design a new blog for CF and I am playing around with the CF logo. Tell me what you think.








Thanks for your help.

Take care, CF


Sleep Apnea I

This past weekend I was scheduled for my sleep study; here is how it all went down. I promptly arrived at the study center at 8:45, I was greeted by the study specialist Barbara. She unlocked the door, invited me in and ushered me to the room I would be sleeping in for the night. It was a lovely room; nice comfy overstuffed recliner, queen sized bed, tv with cable and dvd and a bunch of medical looking equipment on the night stand and a camera pointing directly at the bed. The room was really nicely decorated.

Barbara told me to get comfortable, set my things up and open the door when I was ready for her come back to prepare me for the night (more on that later). I immediately turned on the television so I could catch Mo’Nique’s Fat Chance Paris. I sat in the recliner and signed the necessary paperwork and then arranged my things like water, cell phone (in case of an emergency; it was on vibrate), a book and magazine and my Amy Winehouse cd. I also took out two Ambien CRs for my journey to sleep for the night. I told Barbara if I was ever going to fall asleep tonight, I would have to take the medication, she said fine but was concerned about when I would take the pills since it was going to take her 45 minutes to an hour to gear me up for the night.

Back to Fat Chance Paris; I have mixed emotions about the show. I love the idea of learning to love and celebrate your body whatever the size. But going on such a brief journey to self acceptance seemed a little contrived to me. Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate what Mo’Nique is doing, the woman is awesome and I thought the right person won but…(you fill in the blank)

So now, Barbara is preparing me for sleep. She comes in the room with a bunch of electrodes, a water soluable gel and straps (get your mind out of the gutter :)). First she places one strap around my chest to monitor my heart and breathing, then the other around my stomach to monitor the same. Then she dipped a q-tip in the gel and rubbed some on my left leg to place the pad for the electrode to monitor for restless leg syndrome and then did the same to the right. Lets deviate for a minute to talk about the q-tip which felt like wood scraping my leg and Barbara was just a little heavy handed, so she rubbed hard. Anyway, next she scraped gel on my left temple and then the right, my left and right cheek; she scraped gel on the top right and left side of my head, in my hair—which I completely cut off last Thursday; I have a teeny weeny fro again which I absolutely adore. Barbara then taped a microphone to my neck; then placed four tubes up my nostrils and she did various other things which escape me right now because by this time the Ambien started to kick in and I was falling fast so the rest of the setup was a big blur.

I put Amy Winehouse in the dvd player earlier, so I climbed into bed turned her on and opened the magazine while Barbara hooked me up to the “Machines.” She told me that the camera would not be on until the study started and that I could just speak conversationally if I needed her because she could hear everything coming from that room. I said ok, we said good night and before I knew it, I was out.

About two hours into the study Barbara rushed into the room and woke me up to let me know that I was having extreme difficulty breathing and I had pulled out the tubes in my nostrils and some of the electrodes on various parts of my head and that I snored (not a surprise). She stuck the electrodes back on and also put this mask over my face which I learned was something called a CPAP treatment. CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) is the most common treatment for OSA (Obstructive Sleep Apnea) which I obviously have without a doubt. So she straped me in and I fell back asleep.

A little while later she came back in because the mask was leaking so she made some adjustments to fix it; in the meantime I had to pee. She helped me up, I let her know that I was completely woosy and felt upstable. I got to the bathroom and I could swear I peed in the toilet, but my pajama bottoms felt a little wet when I pulled them up. I do not know how I got back to the room; if Barbara was in the bathroom with me or what. I got back in bed with the mask adjusted and fell asleep again.

Barabar woke me up around 7:30am to let me know the study was over. I asked her about the snoring—she said it stopped; she said she didn’t know how I functioned on a daily basis because I was only getting about 1 hour of REM sleep, she asked if I remembered what I was dreaming about and I couldn’t remember. She told me I talked in my sleep a lot. The only thing I could think of was how tired and grogy I was and that I needed to get home and get some sleep, so that’s what I did. I thanked Barbara for all of her help and said goodbye.

So now I wait about two weeks for the official results and a meeting with my doctor. In the meantime I am now acutely aware that I have trouble breathing when I sleep and this information has made me afraid to go to sleep; what if I stop breathing completely and there is no one to wake me up. This has got me so freaked out that I am probably not even getting that one hour of REM sleep that I was eeking out every night. I am very anxious to get this problem resolved before my head explodes with fear or I die from a heart attack or stroke in my sleep; which wouldn’t be accurate since I am not really sleeping…right!


I Really Like “The Funny”

For the past several weeks I have been hearing a lot of things about a singer named T-Pain, so I decided to google him yesterday. He’s got a new song on the charts called “Bartender” which has a great beat and sounds good. I must say I don’t agree with some of the lyrics or some of the images in his video (although it’s not really that bad compared to some videos I’ve seen), but in order for you to get “The Funny” you have to know who T-Pain is…just a little. By they way, I found “The Funny” on T-Pain’s MySpace page, so he gets it himself. His schtick is selling records so I don’t think he has a problem with comedians ragging on his persona. So below is the video for Bartender and then the next two videos from will crack you up; at least they made me laugh so hard I peed  a little.

Some of the language in the 2nd video is explicit, so beware.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. has a lot of funny on his site and I will probably post more of his stuff. I really like Chris vs. Maroon 5.