Archive for the 'Weight Loss' Category


Don’t Laugh…I Bought A Bike

Okay, stop laughing! My intentions are good. I bought a bike for basically three reasons:

  1. I think gas prices are going to keep rising in the near future. Unless we really decide as a nation and actually get off our pompous asses and start sacrificing something, we will always be dependent on foreign oil…chaotic stupidity.
  2. I’m trying to become a conscious consumer; I want to be aware and knowledgable of how the environmental changes happeningaffect me personally and my community generally. I want to contribute, become a part of the green movement and do what I can to make a difference however big or small. Soon you will be able to visit me at where I will share my green journey by doing one new thing green every day. I want to do it this way so that I don’t feel like I’m being deprived of anything and not so overwhelming by it all that I stop…chaotic greenery.
  3. And lastly, I remember the joy I felt riding a bike throughout my life. I remember riding as a kid, then as a teenager. Once I learned how to dirve and got my learners permit, riding a bike became passe. I want to rediscover my youth in some ways. But mostly, I need to get my butt off the couch and this is a great form of exercise. Below are pictures of my bike and helmet…chaotic Joy.

As always, be well



“Kindness in words creates confidence, kindness in thinking creates profoundness, kindness in feeling creates love.” — Lao Tzu


I Can Make You Thin…My Big Fat Ass

I need to blow off some steam right now so please excuse any excessive expletives.

It was my intention not to ever watch the new weight loss show on TLC — I Can Make You Thin, but last night I purposely reminded myself that it was coming on so I could check it out. I watched a few minutes and this guy started saying he was going to make you thin through the television; I changed the channel. Then I thought okay, give him the benefit of the doubt; so some time later I turned back to the show and this time the host was telling people to tap away their cravings; give me a fucking break. I am so tired of people trying to sell Americans a bunch of bull shit, instead of trying to sell the truth…Get up off your ass and exercise and put the fork down and stop eating too much food. That’s what we need to be sold on, the fast-food we are eating is killing us. Get back into the kitchen and cook healthy foods, stop eating that crappy processed food shit you are being sold on. Wake the hell up America, no one can stop this madness but us.

Move your ass and close your mouth.

 Okay, I’m done.

As always, be well



“Kindness in words creates confidence, kindness in thinking creates profoundness, kindness in feeling creates love.” — Lao Tzu


Happy New Year Everyone!

Hey everyone. I hope all is well and you are still having great weight-loss success. I am glad to be back and ready to begin again with a greater clarity of mind and greater knowledge of my strengths and weaknesses.

Over the past year I learned a lot about myself and figured out that getting rid of the chaos one step at a time works best for me. So the first thing I had to do was figure out what all the chaos in my life was about; then I had to figure out what to get rid of first. The first thing on my list was to get real and stop the number one thing hurting me and my progress. I wasn’t able to admit it to myself last year, but today is a new day, so here goes.


It is very difficult because I am having those phantom feelings. But I am learning to replace my feelings when this phenomenon occurs. It feels really freaky sometimes though; like when I am driving and I have the urge to look in my bag for a cigarette and light up while driving or after dinner when I usually smoke to cap off the meal with a cig. I am learning to look at these times differently and start new habits. I finally got my new computer and I am learning how to design/create blogs from scratch so that is taking up a lot of my down time. Learning computer programming languages is no joke. 🙂 Sometime this year, I will have completed the new design for my blog which will include a monthly vlog and chaoticfat swag.

I am not really worried about weight gain/loss right now because I really have to concentrate on this. I am trying to save my life in stages and stopping smoking needs to come first. I gained a lot of weight last year, so I will be starting fresh on that front (I went crazy on my hiatus). So, wish me luck on my journey this year and hopefully I will come out on top with certain goals being met when all is said and done next December.

Have a great year on your journey and I will see you on the other side.

As always, be well,


“Kindness in words creates confidence, kindness in thinking creates profoundness, kindness in feeling creates love.” — Lao Tzu


This Definitely Shifted My Paradigm

I just have to share another post from the “Fatosphere” entitled: I Hate WLS—Here’s Why I’m Having It.

Please take the time to click the link and read Heidi’s post. It will make you cry, laugh and feel a great deal of compassion for this brave woman. If you are struggling, like me, it will open your eyes to your future.


 I believe weight loss surgery (WLS) is dangerous, invasive, and overly performed. I hate that something created as a last resort has turned into magical cure-all for everyone over 200 pounds. I hate that it’s become so popular and hyped that people whose information is based solely on what they see on TV have no hesitation in suggesting it to complete strangers. But what if you don’t qualify? Gain weight! Go to Mexico! Find a less strict surgeon!

WLS is the quick and easy answer! Because altering your eating and drinking habits for the rest of your life couldn’t possibly be something worth a second thought. I always have been and always will be highly, highly critical of weight loss surgery.

And I’m having mine next month.

Here is the link to the complete post:

Below is the comment I made to the post:


Congratulations on having the courage to make the best decision for you. I am on my own weight loss walk and needed a paradigm shift; a way to see my fat and my struggle with becoming healthy as more than a chore or just something to do in order for me to be happy. You know the old saying, “I’ll be happy when…”  Well I have been letting that guide me, until today.

It has been a privilege to read your post and I thank you for saving my life. Although I will not have WLS, I will take your words and the steps necessary to do what I know I must do to lose the fat that’s killing me and get healthy.

Be well, CF


We are a fat nation

Hello everyone, I’m back from my holiday and I had a great time. As you can probably tell from my previous post, I took a cruise to the caribbean. How lovely was that! Now for the good/not so good part.

We really are a nation of fatties. If a cruise of between 2,000–2,500 people can be considered a microcosm of the United States then more than half of us are very very fat. There were all different levels of fat people:

You had your obese—I have to ride in a scooter fattie;

your obese—I can barely walk the halls of this ship but I am going to anyway because this is my vacation and I will enjoy it come hell or high water fattie;

your fat —I am fat, but still feel cute in this spandex thingy I am wearing and my feet are killing me in these damn shoes but I will die first before I take them off fattie;

your fat—I don’t know how I let myself go, but I am going on a diet as soon as this vacation is over fattie;

and your fat—I’m a plumpy and love my curves so get over yourself and deal fattie.

There were so many different kinds of fat, it was very eye opening. I felt a certain kind of sadness and a kinship with those people. Everyone was so pleasant and believe it or not happy. I think when you are on holiday, you leave all of your worries behind and just enjoy. It also made me realize that being fat is not necessarily a death sentence. We can all strive to lose weight and be healthy, but we can also be fat and happy instead of fat and miserable. Almost everyone I met seemed to be comfortable in their skin whether they were obese or just slightly overweight. Or maybe they were just putting up a vacation front, it’s hard to tell. All I know is my fat nation and I had a fabulous cruise to the caribbean and I can’t wait to go again next year.

Now let’s talk about the food; as you may well know, there was an over abundance of it everywhere you turned. On day one and day two I ate so much food I had to go to my stateroom and lay my stomach down, she needed the rest and could barely move anyway. On day three, I came to my senses and ate like I still had a functioning brain that was not on holiday.

So yeah, the statistics are true, we are a very fat nation; but I love my country and am proud to be an American or should I say FAT American trying her best to get and live a healthy life whether fat or thin.

Oh and btw, I did manage to find the sport deck and do a little exercising/walking around the track. I didn’t fall completely into Never Never Land.


Sleep Apnea IV

Sleep O’ Wonderful Sleep; I’m finally sleeping…for real! I have been using the CPAP Machine (with full face mask) for two weeks now and it is one of the best things to happen in my life. I wake up feeling refreshed, strong and even more favored. Although I am still struggling a little bit with the time that I go to sleep, it is getting better and I am falling asleep earlier and earlier, which is wonderful. I no longer nod off between 2:30pm – 3:00pm everyday and I am no longer dead tired all day.

I am sleeping y’all!

I am so happy!


Flip Flopper

It’s the old okey doke, the flip flopper that’s me 100%. One month I am all gungho and ready to lose weight and exercise and the next month I could give a shit. I don’t exactly know why I feel this way, but that’s it in a nutshell. Intellectucally I know why I have to do this, emotionally there are days when I think, I’ve done this before and I’m tired. Some days I just want to revel in my fat and love it up; the next day I’m walking in a mall and have to stop because my fat ass can’t breath. You would think, HELLLLLLO there isn’t a question here, just get off your ass and do the damn thing. But I can’t keep that light on. Why am I having this internal conflict and how do I get past it?

I can’t read another book, I can’t read another blog, I can’t sing another song—but I won’t quit. I don’t know why, but I just won’t give up, I keep trying and trying and trying…I think I need some sleep y’all :)) 

I’m filled with all this angst like I’m a dangblasted 15 year old.